We all know 2020 was a wash, so I wanted our first Wednesday together to set the tone for the new year. In 2021 we’re committed to living intentionally and courageously. No more mindlessly going through the day or waiting for the other shoe to drop with bad news. We are taking charge of our year!
To help us get into this mindset I could bring on no one else but author, speaker, and development coach, Antonio Neves. Antonio has first-hand experience with living a “successful” yet unfulfilled life and learning to pivot into living on purpose instead. Our conversation was jam packed with gems and step-by-step lessons on how to create the life of our dreams and stop living on autopilot!
Everyone has a breaking point in life where change becomes absolutely necessary. That point came for Anthony after being called out by a homeless man about his secret cigarette smoking habit. “The man asked why I wore a gardening glove to smoke and I admitted it was to hide my smoking from my wife. He looked at me like I was crazy and said, ‘You’ve got to figure that *expletive* out!’” Anthony credits that moment to changing the course of his life! He’s since become dedicated to helping people get unstuck. So much so he wrote an entire book about it! Check out his new book ‘Stop Living on Autopilot’ here.
For those of us who don’t want to hide in alleys wearing green gardening gloves, Antonio suggests doing an activity called ‘The Last 30 Days’. “Ask yourself, ‘Based on the last 30 days of work, if my company were to rehire me would they immediately say yes?’ Reflect on how well you showed up in the beginning of working with your company and if you’re still doing what it takes to develop and grow there.” This exercise can be applied to any area of life, i.e. relationships, parenting, finances, fitness, etc. The key is answering honestly.
We’ve discussed here how daunting goal setting can be. Critics distract us, imposter syndrome sets in, or we get discouraged by the things we’ve yet to accomplish. I was curious to know Antonio’s take on reaching goals. Surprisingly, he said, “Do less this year!” He explained trying to do too much keeps you from focusing. Specific, focused goals are best and ultimately, you’ll have the satisfaction of checking things off your list.
With all the knowledge Antonio shared not only can we recognize when we’ve shifted to autopilot but also those around us. We can support friends out of this funk in a few easy steps:
First, be an example – asking others to uphold a standard you don’t will come off as hypocrisy.
Second, make sure they’re open to feedback – if yes, share from a loving, empathetic place as opposed to giving ultimatums.
Lastly, set boundaries – be clear on behaviors and conversations you will and will not tolerate, and stand your ground.
Equally important to getting off autopilot is pushing yourself to be better. Antonio shared the best advice to making noticeable progression, the ‘1 Degree Challenge’. “A pot of water is hot at 211 degrees, but if you turn the temperature up by just one degree the water will boil.” He challenges us to turn up the dial by one degree daily – make just one change that will help us to be better. Lofty goals stem from us overestimating our ability to commit. Making one small change daily brings huge difference over time.
Continued education is so important for success. I schedule a portion of my day for learning – which if not for my assistant aka my wizard Shelby I wouldn’t have the freedom to do btw! I was happy to learn Antonio does the same thing! “Professional development is your responsibility.”
In addition to reading and taking courses he’s an avid podcast listener.
Here are his suggestions for your personal ‘learning day’:
What have you started doing or using lately that you love? I started using an electric toothbrush and it’s been a game changer!
What is the best gift you’ve given yourself in the last year? My wife and I allow each other a night away at a hotel once a quarter to refresh.
What’s the next thing you’re hoping to learn in 2021?Every part of my biz has involved me. I’m excited to learn what I can do in business that doesn’t require me to show up physically to sell.
What keeps you up at night? How many books I will sell at launch.
Where can we find your book? My book ‘Stop Living on Autopilot’ is sold wherever books are sold, but you can purchase directly from my website.
Homework: Take a 30-minute walk alone without headphones or distractions, listen to your feet touch the ground, take in your environment.
Laurie Ruettimann worked in HR at major corporations for over a decade. She noticed some similarities across the corporate world that was creating toxic work environments and decided to shine a light on some dusty corners. It’s now her mission to “fix work”. The happier the employees the better the work! Add it to your calendar here.