#112 | How To Manage Your Boss With Mary Abbajay

Two common things happen at this time of year. One, vision setting for who you want to become. And two, year end reviews with higher ups. Today, I tapped Mary Abbajay to help us tackle the latter! 

Mary is a literal expert as the President and Co-Founder of Careerstone Group. She even wrote a book about it, Managing Up, and teaches Linkedin Learning courses on the subject. Keep reading for actionable advice on managing up, do’s and don’ts of professional conversations, and career trajectory that you can implement today!

Preparing For End Of Year Reviews

When I was in corporate I went into year-end reviews leaned back. In retrospect, I missed the opportunity to lead the conversation. Mary says you can avoid this mistake by bringing a list of your accomplishments, things you could have done better, and areas you want to grow in. 

“Go back through the conversations you’ve had with your boss through the year and pull some highlights. Quantify your accomplishments and show the impact they made. Evaluate yourself before your boss does and share how you’re working on weak points. Lastly, share what you want more of, less of, or different in your role or career.”

Pro Tip: Ask ahead for the meeting format. You should know if it will be an open discussion or if your boss will be doing most of the talking.

Managing The Relationship 

Your relationship with your boss is essential to your success! So, managing it is about learning, accepting, and sometimes accommodating your boss’s preferences, priorities, and pet peeves. 

Mary says start by studying their patterns. This includes their communication and work style, how they like to get things done, how they view punctuality, and when and how they like to give input. 

P.S. This tip works for clients and vendors as well! 

“Don’t resist who your boss is. Learn who they are and how they operate, then try to align your work style with theirs without losing your authenticity. Our ability to be flexible is going to help us succeed. That’s what managing up is all about. That is where your power lies.”

Tips For Having Honest Conversations 

Managing up sometimes includes having tough conversations. Your tactics to approach it should be based on your boss’s personality.  

Mary says generally there are two kinds of bosses. The first is one who has created psychological safety. They are likely open to hearing feedback and resolving issues. Approach tough conversations with good feedback protocols by saying, ‘Here is what I’m experiencing and what I need.’

The second is less likely to be supportive, so turn your feedback into requests. Mary says, “Don’t complain. Say what you need, why you need it, what’s in it for them, how you’ll help make it happen and how it will benefit the organization.”

Want To Skip Around?

10:25 Preparing For End Of Year Reviews

17:40 Managing The Relationship

20:58 Tips For Having Honest Conversations

24:44 Keep Them In The Loop Not The Soup

29:25 how To Disagree/Correct A Higher Up

32:00 Managing A Toxic Boss

41:18 How To Get Your Ideas And Thoughts Taken Seriously

Links Mentioned

Amazon link to book: https://amzn.to/3R9Punz

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-abbajay-managingup/

Podcast: Cubicle Confidential https://open.spotify.com/show/5C8Ki55Qz28eQ0S43WMZiE?si=292c2257c20841dbhttps://managingupthebook.com/

https://www.careerstonegroup.com/

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Want To Learn 1 on 1 with Me?: I’m passionate about making YOU stand out at work. After a 45 minute training, Avery (aka my newest shining star) implemented my tactics and got a new job making $60k MORE than the last. Want some of that secret sauce for yourself? Check out more here. 

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