#198 | How To Have Difficult Conversations With Melanie Whitney

Adapting, Communication, Confidence

June 24, 2025

Have you ever fumbled a difficult conversation at work? You’re not alone—just ask our guest Melanie Whitney, communications coach and instructor. If you’re like me, you might find tricky talks at work pretty anxiety-inducing. Melanie has studied the way we talk to ourselves and others for over a decade and is teaching others how to navigate slowing down and being mindful when we communicate (especially at work!).

Check Your Ego: We all do it. Someone’s short with us in a meeting or sends a cryptic email, and suddenly we’re spiraling with stories in our head. Melanie suggests “perception checking.” Instead of assuming the worst, come up with two alternative (and generous!) reasons for someone’s behavior. Maybe their AC broke or they had a rough morning! Practicing this kind of compassion keeps our egos (and assumptions) in check.

Slow Your Roll: Found yourself wanting to react before you’ve really had a chance to think? You’re probably running on overdrive. Melanie reminded us that pausing, in any form, whether it’s deep breaths in the bathroom or just a sticky note reminder somewhere silly, is how we create space for better responses. Remember, if you can’t slow down during a regular day, it’s nearly impossible in the heat of a high-stakes meeting.

Write a “To-Be” List: This one’s my new favorite homework assignment we’ve been given. Next to your usual to-do list, write down how you want to be while you tackle those tasks, think “curious,” “kind,” “grounded.” That way, you’re not just checking boxes, you’re shaping how you show up all day long.

So next time you see conflict bubbling up (or you’re prepping for a conversation you’re dreading), try these out! And remember—whether you’re a people pleaser or a recovering over-reactor, there’s always space at our table for learning and laughing through the mess.