We spend a lot of time learning how to do our jobs, but not nearly enough time learning how to work with other people. Yet the relationships we build at work often have a bigger impact on our success than any technical skill ever will. So I sat down with Melody Wilding, an executive coach who helps professionals navigate workplace dynamics and author of Managing Up. We explored the small shifts that can make a big difference in how we communicate, build trust, and create better working relationships. Whether you’re navigating a challenging boss, trying to build influence, or simply looking to become a stronger communicator, these strategies can help you create more productive and rewarding workplace relationships.

How To Manage Up In The Right Way

One of the biggest mindset shifts Melody shared was around the idea of “managing up.” It’s a phrase that sometimes gets a bad reputation, but managing up isn’t about office politics or trying to impress your boss. It’s about creating the conditions that help you succeed. That can look as simple as proactively sharing progress on a project, communicating how your work connects to larger goals, or making it easier for your manager to communicate with you in a way that works best for you. When you focus on reducing uncertainty and increasing clarity around how you work, you build trust, and trust often leads to more autonomy at work.

Another theme that stood out was how often workplace challenges are rooted in anxiety rather than bad intentions. The colleague who asks too many questions, the manager who micromanages, or the stakeholder who seems difficult may simply be looking for reassurance. Instead of immediately assuming the worst, Melody encourages us to get curious. Asking questions, seeking to understand someone’s perspective, and approaching conversations with empathy can completely change the dynamic. It doesn’t mean you excuse poor behavior, but it does help you respond more strategically instead of reactively.

The “Me Manual” Approach

Melody also shared several practical tools that anyone can start using right away. One of my favorites was the idea of creating a “Me Manual”, a simple guide that explains how you work best, how you prefer to communicate, and what helps you do your best work. It can be incredibly helpful for managers, collaborators, mentors, and even peers. She also recommends keeping a running list of your wins throughout the year. Not only does this make performance reviews easier, but it helps you recognize the value you’re already bringing when it’s easy to focus only on what’s left to do.

The good news is that improving workplace relationships doesn’t require a complete personality overhaul. Having regular alignment conversations, sharing your communication preferences, asking thoughtful questions, and keeping others informed, makes a huge difference over time. The people who thrive at work aren’t necessarily the smartest or most talented. They’re often the ones who invest in relationships, communicate with intention, and make it easier for others to work with them. And that’s a skill set worth developing no matter where you are in your career.

Timestamps:

06:18 Debunking myths about managing up

09:09 Using one-on-ones to showcase your wins

13:52 Handling workplace conflicts with emotional intelligence

19:04 Previewing work to reduce micromanagement

23:38 Building relationships with mentors and colleagues and giving back

28:28 The ‘Me Manual’ concept for better communication and expectations

37:53 How to create effective ‘Me Manuals’ for work and personal life

42:47 Networking tips and small asks to build trust and relationship

47:21 Preparing for end-of-year reviews now

Links:

The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier

Melody’s Course: Managing Up with Emotional Intelligence

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