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Have you ever wished you could read someone’s mind? We may never get that chance but the next best thing is reading their social cues! Vanessa Van Edwards joined us for coffee to teach us how! Her new book, Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication, shares an advanced guide to improving professional relationships through the power of charisma. Keep reading to discover how to encode and decode cues, find confidence in your personality, and master using cues via video conferencing.
What do you think is the least funny font? If you guessed ‘comic sans’, you’re right! Vanessa says cues about your brand and personality are lurking in everything from fonts, to colors, to commas and they affect how people receive the information you share.
She explained the same applies socially. “Cues change our feelings and our physiology. If you feel drained after a meeting it may be because of missed cues of rejection – scoffing, eye rolls, dismissive tones – your brain noticed what you didn’t and amped up your defense responses.”
Learning social cues is your backdoor to confidence in any setting. There are 96 in all but Vanessa says start with these three:
If you’re like me, you’ll probably use Vanessa’s book Cues to decode others. But the real superpower is encoding. Learning cues will teach you most about yourself and to control the social signals you give to others.
Try this exercise to start – Record yourself saying two truths and a lie. Then study what you do differently when lying to find your tells. Message Vanessa and I what you learned!
Ahh, charisma. Many believe you’re either born with it or you’re not. Vanessa came to bust that myth! “Research shows some have charisma from birth but most develop it over time. Also, being extroverted does not equal being charismatic. The bubbly extrovert, the powerful contemplative introvert, and the compassionate empathetic healer are all charismatic.” (Tweet this!)
Another busted myth is that confidence and charisma are synonymous. According to Vanessa, confidence is assuredness in one’s own ability, the desire to show up as you are and knowing you have worth. Confidence comes from being in control of your cues. Charisma, however, is having the perfect blend of warmth and competence. Simultaneously signaling that you’re likable, trustworthy, warm and capable, memorable and powerful.
I think we can all agree social cues are especially hard to read via Zoom. No spatial cues and limited view of hand gestures means our brains are working overtime to decode whoever is on the other side of the camera. Learn to be confident on camera with my free starter kit, then apply Vanessa’s tips for mastering cues while working remotely:
Terry Rice joins us to teach the art of monetizing your knowledge! He’s helped hundreds of entrepreneurs build their brand and revenue! He believes in sharing your knowledge frequently and attracting high paying clients through content creation. If you follow him on LinkedIn you know that he practices what he preaches. RSVP Here to join us!