#171 | How To Initiate Hard Conversations With Marlene D. Chism

Some advice like “don’t be around negative people” sounds like a good idea but when put into practice you realize that if you were never around anyone negative, you could never be around… anyone! (including yourself!) Marlene helped us see what we can do today to start leaning into conflict and hard conversations in a more effective way. She shared the three types of personalities in conflict and how each one might show up in the way you talk: avoiders, appeasers and aggressors.

Marlene shared some really helpful go to scripts for when you’re asked to do something in person and are usually an appeaser personality. Something like “Oh I really want to commit but I worry I won’t have capacity with all that I have going on. Can I get back to you by xyz date and time?” and she said the key was to actually get back to them at that point.

I loved the analogy Marlene shared about the boat- the situation, the island – the goal, and the shark – the conflict and how we often get stuck on the shark and miss the island because of it. If you’re looking for some go to scripts in hard conversations or even just a polite way to let someone know in a zoom conversation that they’re hogging the time Marlene covered it all and left me with a lot to think on!

Want To Skip Around? Timestamps:

09:22 Conflict isn’t the problem; mismanagement is

11:38 Different personalities in conflict

18:46 Boundaries usually fail because of this

27:17 Lean on others when trying to improve

43:24 Remembering basic manners and etiquette

Links Mentioned:

Keep in touch with Marlene:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marlenechism/

Website: https://marlenechism.com

Follow: @flynnskidmore on Instagram

Apps: Making Your Mind Matter – By Dr Joe Dispenza

Homework:

1. Set an early morning intention
2. List a good quality of each member of your family of origin

If You Loved Today’s Episode:

1.) You should check out this episode How To Speak Confidently in Important Conversations

2.) Sign up for notes at copymyhomework.com for a full list of resources, links and recommendations listed on today’s episode.

3.) Post a screenshot of the episode & tag me on LinkedIn or Instagram @kimkaupe so we can talk about your favorite parts!

4.) Leave a positive review on any podcast platform (shameless, but someone’s gotta say it right?!)

5.) Subscribe for new episodes every Tuesday on your favorite podcast app.

Connect with me over on the socials!

Instagram + TikTok: @kimkaupe

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimkaupe/

Want To Learn More With Me?: Check out my LinkedIn learning courses here. 

Share: If you enjoyed this, please share with others by clicking on the social icons below…