#73 | Getting Clear On Your Values With Darrah Brustein

There’s something about the end of the year that makes us super reflective. It could be the fact that we have less emails or that we have more time to sit with our thoughts. Either way I believe getting clear on our values will set this new year apart from the rest! 
Enter life and business coach, Darrah Brustein. She joined the Coffee With Kim community to share her wisdom on finding clarity and creating actionable steps towards your goals. – Which includes the perfect way to say yes or no without feeling burdened. – Our conversation will leave you with tools to design your life, build a business to fund it and a network to support it in the new year!

How To Find Clarity (06:48)

The next few weeks will likely include us focusing on goals and resolutions for the new year. If you’re anything like me you’re wondering where to even start! Darrah says start with a mantra. “Having lists of goals can become cumbersome and easy to forget. However, mantras give you something to buoy yourself to, so no matter what your goals are, or if they change during the year, you have a north star to keep you aligned with your values.” (Tweet this!)

Get started on effective goal planning with Darrah’s free six-step system.

Creating Actionable Steps Toward Your Goals (12:01)

Having started four businesses and successfully selling one, Darrah knows firsthand what it means to align and realign your goals and values. Start by asking yourself, ‘What do I want my life to look and feel like?’ 

“Identifying the chasm between where you are and where you want to be, plus knowing what it actually costs to live your dream life, allows you to create a hierarchy of priorities and move in the right direction. (Tweet this!) Like the book The Four Agreements teaches we should always do our best. Beginning with the end in mind and moving with intention provides that chance.”

Saying No Kindly (21:00)

We’re taught if an opportunity matches what we’re striving for, we should go for it. Darrah teaches that part of accomplishing goals is perfecting how to say no. In fact, the best no she’d ever gotten was from Brene Brown. Here’s why… 

“Brene’s response became the blueprint of how to say no with integrity and without burning a bridge. She honored what I asked, shared why she couldn’t participate, and left the door open for connection in the future. Instead of ignoring my email she gave a thoughtful response. The best part is she never explicitly said the word ‘no’.”

3 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Saying Yes (30:15)

Brene Brown gave us the blueprint for saying no and Deepak Chopra gave us one for saying yes. 

Ask yourself:

1. Is it fun to do?
2. Is the person or people I’ll be doing it with enjoyable to be around?
3. Will it make an impact with the work that I want to do?

If the answer is yes to all of them he will absolutely do it, yes to two of them he will think about it, and yes to one or less of them he won’t do it. I love this method because it’s super easy and gives us permission to do what brings us joy. 

Confidence, Consistency & Clarity (37:05)

Speaking of sparking joy, I was curious to get Darrah’s take on how to bring more of it into the new year. She explained, universally, people struggle with confidence, consistency, and clarity. The good news is we can overcome by taking action. “Action is the kryptonite to lack of confidence. Confidence is built when we’re consistent and consistency brings clarity to our vision and goals.” (Tweet this!)

If being consistent on social media is on your list, grab my free content kickstart plan to get started.

Speed Round (41:13)

• What’s the best thing you’ve started using or doing lately? Walking on my treadmill while doing emails
• What is the next thing you’re hoping to learn? The psychology of personal identity and reading Atlas of The Heart by Brene Brown
• What are your favorite social media accounts to follow? Moon Omens, Adam Grant
• What are your mantras or words of the year? I haven’t picked them yet

Homework: Visit the freebies page on my website, read Will Smith’s memoir and Matthew McConaughey’s memoir

Next Week:

If you’ve been following the podcast for any length of time, you’ve heard me rave about my wizard, aka my assistant, Shelby. Next week you’ll get to meet the woman behind the magic! She’ll join me to teach you how to get started on LinkedIn Live and give top tips for live video. We also have a very exciting announcement! (Here’s an inside scoop since you made it to the end of this post.) RSVP here!

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Want To Learn 1 on 1 with Me?: I’m passionate about making YOU stand out at work. After a 45 minute training, Avery (aka my newest shining star) implemented my tactics and got a new job making $60k MORE than the last. Want some of that secret sauce for yourself? Check out more here. 

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